The Difference Between Depression and Sadness

The majority of my friends struggle with depression and/or anxiety. My partner also struggles with periods of recurring depression. Either consciously or subconsciously, I have surrounded myself with people who understand and can relate to my experiences of mental illness. This means I regularly forget that a lot of people do not experience mental illness, and may think that depression is a form of sadness.

Depression is often simplified as a period of extended sadness, likely because it’s the easiest explanation. Sadness is an emotion that everyone has experienced at one point or another, and so it is relatable and understandable. The issue with depression is that it often appears irrational to the outsider, and so it is much harder to understand unless you have lived experience.

Sadness usually has an obvious cause, but depression does not.

Sadness is an emotional response to a perceived or real loss of something that you consider to be important to you. It is a valid emotional response to your own emotional pain and the pain of others. It usually has an obvious cause like a break-up, a death, or a failed goal.

DBT teaches us that sadness is a valid emotional response when “you have lost something or someone irretrievably, or things are not the way you wanted or expected and hoped them to be.” (source)

Depression often does not have a clear cause. I have struggled with cycles of depression since the age of 14, and the depressive periods are sometimes triggered by traumatising events. I have plunged into depression in response to rape, loss of friendships, and feeling overwhelmed from too many responsibilities. Other times, they hit when I am progressing at the same rate as before, without any clear triggers.  I have become incredibly depressed while travelling in a dream destination, and at other times with no obvious additional stressors.

Depression can hit people whose lives look easy or enviable to the outside world. People with stable incomes and jobs that they love, those with loving family and friends, those who are in good physical health and physically attractive; depression does not discriminate against this. This can be one of the hardest things for people to understand about depression: your life can look technically perfect from the outside, and you can still be cripplingly depressed.

Depression is as much physical as it is emotional.

Pink building in Colonia.

The symptoms of sadness are pretty well-known. Your body may feel heavy and you may feel pain in your heart, like physical heartbreak. You may feel hot behind the eyes and sometimes cry. As time passes, or as you take steps to make peace with your loss, then you will feel less sad.

Depression is a whole body experience. I can tell when I am starting to go through a depressive period because I start sleeping for several hours longer than normal at night and feeling the urge to nap every single day. I also feel like a heavy weight is sitting on my chest and weighing me down. Other common physical symptoms of depression include reduced libido, decreased appetite, an increase in aches and pains, and difficulties with concentration and memory.

There are obviously the emotional symptoms of depression as well. Rather than a prolonged experience of sadness, depression can often feel like a complete emptiness of emotion. I usually feel unmotivated, hopeless, and like everything is too much effort to bother doing. Other common emotional symptoms include feelings of worthlessness, thinking about death and suicide, and general frustration with the situation.

When you are going through depression, the overwhelming feeling is that everything is too much.

Depression lasts so much longer than sadness.

Depression can last for weeks, months, or even years at a time. You probably won’t feel the same level of depression every second of every day, but overall the hopeless feelings are in command of your body.

Sometimes depressive periods can be alleviated by exercise, medication, and/or positive life changes. Sometimes it feels like too much effort to even get out of bed, let alone try to make positive changes. Other times, it feels like nothing you do can take away the disease that has taken over your mind and body. Sometimes depression just has to run its course before you can feel any sense of relief.

Sadness is a primary emotion that everyone experiences. Depression is a debilitating mental illness.

Ocean views in Colonia

I think that maybe the reason that people struggle to understand depression so much is because they view it as an extended form of sadness. Sadness is a much more bearable emotion that can be alleviated and tolerated relatively easily. Depression takes over your entire being and can leave you feeling like a shell of your former self.

There is hope for reducing symptoms of depression, and some sufferers do recover fully. Committing to therapy, practising self kindness, and surrounding yourself with supportive and loving people can go a long way towards alleviating symptoms and increasing your quality of life. Depression may live inside of your body, but it does not define you as a person.

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By | 2017-11-27T19:13:03+00:00 November 27th, 2017|mental health|16 Comments

16 Comments

  1. Matt November 29, 2017 at 10:43 pm - Reply

    Wonderfully written. You’re right in that there is a lot of confusion but I think we live in a time that more and more people are realising what depression really is and the massive impact it can have on lives. Keep up the great work and the spreading of awareness.

  2. marinebing November 29, 2017 at 10:47 pm - Reply

    I think it’s a very good article and useful since a lot of people mistake being sad for a real depression (and probably vice versa) well written

  3. Lisa K November 30, 2017 at 1:10 am - Reply

    You have created a distinction here that helps illuminate the depth of how depression can affect someone. There is a stigma around it and I feel as though it is slowly falling away, but still prevalent. My father in law was hospitalized a few years ago and had some intense physical symptoms but it ended up as depression. He couldn’t believe himself that it was this and not a physical disease at first. It was at that time when my eyes were opened to what it really means to have depression. I think that your spreading of awareness is very important, keep it up!!

    • Her Travel Therapy November 30, 2017 at 12:52 pm - Reply

      Yeah it’s so strange how an imbalance in chemicals in the brain can produce such severe physical symptoms sometimes! The human brain is such a mystery still and I really hope they can continue research and find more effective ways to combat depression.

  4. Kasia Mikolajczak (@KasiaMikola) November 30, 2017 at 3:53 am - Reply

    It’s so hard to understand depression for many people. People just don’t get how you can’t just snap out of it. I’ve gone through some periods of it for various reasons but for some people it can last a very long time. Thanks for explaining the symptoms and the possible causes. There’s still so much stigma attached to mental illness and I hope that goes away with time.

  5. Niki November 30, 2017 at 7:15 am - Reply

    Very well said!! So many people say I’m depressed just to emphasize how sad they feel, when what they really mean to say is “extremely sad”. If you have ever been through a depression yourself (or anyone close to you), you know this is no joke. I enjoyed reading this, well done!

    • Her Travel Therapy November 30, 2017 at 12:51 pm - Reply

      Yes that’s a pet peeve of mine too. The way I describe my depressive moods is usually “I’m feeling really down” because it’s sadness plus all the physical weight pulling me down.

  6. Teena November 30, 2017 at 9:16 am - Reply

    Great article that articulates this for those wanting to understand what a loved one is going through.

  7. Karen November 30, 2017 at 9:24 am - Reply

    Needed this today. I have struggled with depression for a very long time. Countless people have said to me “Get over it!” “Cheer up!” “If you would just think positive for a change!” There is a strong belief that depressed people can just snap out it through the force of sheer will. This explained it all so nicely, thank you.

    • Her Travel Therapy November 30, 2017 at 12:49 pm - Reply

      Yeah, “why don’t you try thinking some positive thoughts?” is my personal favourite. Like if it was that easy, we would all do it…

  8. Tahnee's Blog November 30, 2017 at 8:47 pm - Reply

    Depression is heart breaking for all involved. It never goes away even when managed well. It’s like that old friend you don’t like but pops round for a cuppa unannounced when ever they like.

  9. Enele Ogah November 30, 2017 at 11:37 pm - Reply

    Depression is basically just a deeper stage of sadness, as it automatically turns into mental illness. You are really a therapist and I’m glad to meet you!.
    I’m a psychologist, so, this piece of information makes me learn more about the subject. I love such discussion probably because of my career 😊
    It was an educative and enlightening read! 😊

    • Her Travel Therapy December 4, 2017 at 5:34 pm - Reply

      I’m not a therapist, I’ve just been through a lot of therapy!

  10. Kelly Jean December 1, 2017 at 4:33 pm - Reply

    More people need to talk about mental illness and you do it so wonderfully. There’s nothing worse than when someone assumes you can just ‘snap out of it,’ and ‘be happy.’ Just doesn’t work that way.

  11. Tahna de Veyra December 3, 2017 at 7:31 pm - Reply

    Yes, there’s still a lot of people who do not understand what depression is. Posts like this are definitely essential. Hope this reaches a wide audience.

  12. byronicone December 6, 2017 at 4:00 am - Reply

    So eloquently put. Unfortunately words may not change a lot of people’s minds. As you said, having a lived experience is a powerful thing. All we can do is keep trying to get people to understand. in many ways it is similar to the actual experience of depression!

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